I recently completed the book “Lost and Found” by Sarah Jakes and absolutely loved it. Her story is very inspirational and ever since I’ve read the book, I’ve been stalking her on all social media and listening to a few of her speaking engagements/interviews. I can relate to her story and if you have ever had feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy this is a great book to read. Insecurities and shame were consuming my life. I know the feeling of pretending and trying to live up to a life you feel everyone wants to see. Scared to let everyone see what is really going on, what you are really feeling. Smiling to mask the pain and hoping that you can drown away the feelings in food, alcohol, or a person. I held onto so much pain from my childhood because I was scared to reveal it. I thought that if people knew that my childhood wasn’t all roses that I would be condemned and judged. I was so worried about what others what think of me. The truth of the matter is that to release that pain and hurt, I needed to talk about it. I need to share my story it hopes that it may be able to help someone else. Talking about it would have possibly let me know that I wasn’t alone, that other people are going through things as well, and nobody’s life is perfect. I’ve learned what other people think of me is none of my business and that being judged by others is not in my control. Frankly, it doesn’t matter anyway. In the end what matters is that I love and accept myself.
Some of my take-aways from the book:
We reflect onto people what we feel about ourselves: when we hate ourselves, we will reflect that hate onto others. When you love yourself, you show love. You don’t have to bash and judge others when you have self-love.
We began to settle and believe this is the best life has to offer: After settling for so long we tend to believe that there is nothing better for us and that perhaps no one can treat us better or that there isn’t a better house or career out there with our names on it. We become content in our situations when there is so much more out there for us.
Love isn’t enough if it makes you worse. Love is far too sweet to have left you bitter: Just because you love someone or someone loves you, it does not mean you need to stay in that relationship. Love is not always the end all, be all. If the relationship is not bringing out the best in you, perhaps it’s time to move on.
One detour does not cancel our destination: just because we’ve experienced failure, shame, guilt, or heartbreak, it does not mean that we are stuck in those situations. It does not mean that GOD loves you any less because you’ve made a mistake. Learn from that mistake and move on. Keep pushing forward to that destined purpose waiting for you.
If nothing changes, then nothing changes: If you never make changes, never grow, never learn, then nothing will change. You and your situation will remain the same. You must grow and through growth there will be great changes.
Healed people, heal people: They say hurt people, hurt people. Well the same is true for healed people. You can share your story of healing to help others heal.
Never forget the power you have to overcome your own self doubt: You don’t have to live with your insecurities. You have the power to get past them. Our self doubt and insecurities tend to be created from our thoughts. These thoughts could have been birthed based on something that someone said or did to hurt you purposely or not. They have made you feel unattractive or unwanted. Whatever feeling was produced tends to turn into thoughts we internalize. We continue to re-run those bad thoughts in our head over and over. However, we have the power to change those thoughts and replace them with something positive.
